I don't even know where to begin with this post, considering it's been a while since I've posted. But January 6th, little old me (okay maybe not that old considering i'm only 20), Rita & my mom flew out to California just so I could attend the Team True Beauty Event. Some may call it crazy considering we live at the most Southern point of Canada, but I call it dedication, and to be honest it was a place I needed to be.
It's no secret that many of us girls have our insecurities, some just hide it better than others. Unfortunately, I am not one of them, and I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It's great because my bestfriends see my vulnerable side, but it's also a bad thing when the world sees them too. My biggest insecurity? My skin (acne to be exact), and that all ties into how beautiful I feel I am.
This weekend was a weekend to celebrate a movement. One in which defining beauty comes from what lies within, and not what the mirror/scale says. I found peace this weekend for the first time in a long while, and someone that had a lot to do with that is none other than Shantel VanSanten.
Anywho on to the event which was nothing short of amazing/perfect/unforgettable or any other word you could think of. Here is a quick run through- picture style- and you'll get to hear my Shantel experience at the end : )!
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| Ritz & I getting ready before the event :) I am SO glad I got to share this experience with her, as she's one of the few that has been there through everything these past couple years. |
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| India DeBeaufort & I Seriously, she is the tiniest thing EVER, but also the sweetest person ever. I asked her how she became involved with OTH and she told me she originally auditioned for Alex Dupre and they ended up writing her a role as Miranda :) |
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| Amber Sweeney & I Had the most amazing talk with her about God, and shed a few tears but that's okay. Her touching words? God is the most gracious and understanding person she knows, so despite the times I neglect to reflect with him during my hectic schedule, He understands. |
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| Shantel VanSanten & I- the first time. NO words to describe how sweet and perfect she is. She said she loved my dress & I obviously proceeded to tell her I was looking for one similar to the Alice & Olivia one she wore at NYFW. Which she may or may not have responded with an "Oh No! Don't get it, I was SO itchy after I took it off!" <3 |
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| Sharon Lawrence & I We talked about the Hangover themed episode and her table dancing which she said was her favourite episode to film because they all had a blast :) |
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| Daphne Zuniga & I seriously, she is SO thin and gorgeous, and honestly a sweetheart. |
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| NO WORDS. For all of you that know me I worship the ground Joy walks on. Seriously she can do no wrong in my eyes, and she is flawless. SO seeing her in person, part of the only reason I travelled from Canada to LA was to see her exceeded my expectations. This is all a blur, I have another picture with her but I prefer to keep that one private. I also have a video of this moment, before she closed her smile for the picture. Okay I'm done. |
For those of you who haven't heard it yet, I highly recommend you watch it on youtube, there are a couple versions of it floating around. One line that stuck with me and which is now written on my whiteboard for my quote of the month is:
"We need to accept differences, and find beauty in those differences."
As for her letter to beauty? Well reflecting on that is going to be for another blog entry of its own. It really stirred something in me, and probably all of us that have heard it, and I'll forever be grateful that she took the time to write it and share it with all of us in this month's newsletter.
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| The fact that she shared with us that she was nervous, despite being an actress made her that much more real to me. One of the many things I love about her is that what you see is what you get with her, and she doesn't try to be anyone that she isn't. |
Of course after the speeches performances were held, and another one of my dreams came true. What is that? Oh you know, just being in the presence of Joy singing. Seriously, she has the voice of an angel, and I don't know how it's possible but she sounds even better live. And Amber? Who knew the girl had a voice like THAT. <3
Lastly, the conversation Ritz & I had with Shantel that has literally changed my personal perspective on the life I am living right now...
Going to this event, I had one question in mind that I REALLY wanted to have answered, by Shantel in particular that I shared with my bestfriends and that was "Did you ever feel like you needed a guy to validate you?" Why, you might ask? Because as of 2 weeks ago, that was where I felt I stood with myself. I felt as if I wasn't good enough as person and the only way I thought I would feel good enough would be when a guy would tell me otherwise. This sadly all stemmed from the pressure I felt regarding the fact I am 20, and haven't had a serious boyfriend yet. I felt like a loser.
SOOOOO I asked her. And the conversation I shared with her that night is something that I will forever hold in my heart and my mind. I won't go into specifics because I'm sure you don't want to hear it all, and some things I would like to keep between the three of us but this was the gist of it;
Shantel shared that although she doesn't feel that way now, that there was a period of time that she did, and she assured me that it does get better. She really put it into perspective for me when she asked me how I would feel if I were in the position of validating a boy because that's what he felt he needed. I wouldn't like it. In fact, I would HATE it. Why put that kind of pressure on ANYONE? You have to be happy with yourself, and you have to be confident in yourself and that's all that matters.
She said that from 20-23 those are some of the toughest years of your life because you feel all this pressure to figure out what you want from your life and who you are. All while trying not to be a freak-- which she assured me we all are ;) -- and that it's OKAY not to know. We will figure it out as we get older and grow.
She told us that relationships are the most important thing to have in your life, and those stem from your family and friends. She said we should all have those friends that we can call and say "Man I had a shitty day," and they'll respond "I had a shitty day too. Let's vent" <3 and I am forever grateful that I have a bestfriend and aunt that I can do that with, and I promise to never take those relationships for granted.
Romantic relationships? Well her advice was to be who YOU are and not try to be like the other person. Differences are okay, you don't want to change who you are to be someone you aren't. I learned she 'f@*^ing hates rock music' and loves reading before bed. She said that by being in different relationships you learn what you like, and what you don't like, and what you want to take with you. She also assured me I am not a loser because I haven't had a serious boyfriend and am 20- that I'm still young.
One last thing that really sit with me above all is how REAL she is. I cannot get over the amount of times she said she's just like all of us, and that she isn't above anyone just because of her title. She doesn't spend crazy amounts of money on designer clothes (her dress from that night was given to her), and she owns one Chanel purse. She loves fashion, and says it IS attainable, her favourite store is J. Crew (which totally reminds me of Joy, ngl), and she tries to do her own hair and make up for events because she doesn't want to look at the pictures and be like "Who is that?". (Tym did her make-up for the event that night as well :) )
I hope that she does go through with starting a blog or website this year like she mentioned she wanted to do after Ritz and I told her we really thought she should start one. I don't think she realizes how many lives she can touch with her words, and how many lives she can change.
She changed mine. My self-love, confidence and worth has gone through the roof since having this conversation with her. I am beautiful. I am capable. I am loved. I don't need a man to define me. I just have to be true to who I am. And being single? It's totally okay, I get to go and come as I please and when the day comes that someone shows some interest in me, I won't turn them away, and most importantly? They won't validate me. Why? Because I validate myself.
SO, Shantel, I wanted to thank you. You don't know what your words did for me that night. I cry thinking about it, and I am SO happy that I can share this story with others and help those that need it. Please don't ever change, you deserve all the love you get from your family, friends and fans. We love you!
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| post talk picture <3 |
